airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars (i could really use a wish right now)

I debated heavily this morning on whether it would be a Breakfast at Tiffany's morning. You know what I'm talking about, I would throw on my black dress, coif my hair, stick on the oversized sunglasses and hop in a taxi- saying in a sweet mid-atlantic accent, "Tiffany's please." Then I would pull out a danish from a brown paper bag and eat my breakfast staring into the one place in the city that always makes sense. The place that belongs.

I'm still very near to doing it.

Waking up this morning surrounded by friends on the second floor was more than I could hope for at the beginning of this summer, and so much more than I expected. Ask anyone who talked to me before I grabbed that flight up here and the one thing I feared was being alone this summer. And while I have no idea how it happened- I know that that fear never came true. It's strange being able to establish real true friendships in a city so dispersed and foreign, where people are out there for number one and number one alone. But I know that I did. I'm not sure if it was the desperate hugs to people last night, clinging on for dear life, as if a minute more of proximity would postpone the fall and school and responsibilities, or waking up to a note pinned on the wall entitled to "my Rubin family", or the fact that people sought me out- looked for me to say goodbye- that I'm feeling so warm and fuzzy right now, I only know that I am. It says something about the human condition that within a few months kids-barely on the verge of adulthood can form such bonds and connections in a place that while not discouraging it, by no means, encourages it either.

I'm still debating on Tiffany's.

This week was filled with last minute memories shoved into a solid couple of days, desperation to make the most out of my final time motivating me forward. There was Tuesday dinner spent with Margaret and time after with Emily and her at the apartment, then Wednesday supper with Kris and a forty something blocks and 8 avenues covered walk back to the apartment where I took in my city, from the city walker's view one last time. And Thursday was incredible. (Know that mixed in with all of these days, are final moments at Rolling Stone- with fellow interns and bosses)

Thursday came... and went. My final day at RS, my FINAL night in Rubin, and my final outing with the gang. RS was busy- a good busy, where I was working towards a goal, something I could see finished and made relevant and meaningful. Dinner was delicious, burgers and fries at Jimmy's, with step sitting and people watching after. The concert at Madison Square Garden was epic. Spoon was amazing and clear, the band's talent and passion absolutely undeniable. Arcade Fire however was the greatest show I've ever seen live. And I've seen quite a bit this summer. The ability for their performers to switch instruments throughout songs, to start over (yes I mean start a song completely over) when they realize- hey it's a live show we make mistakes too- and their capabilities, no their skills at performing live made the show one of my top five nights in New York. Getting the adrenaline going with "Ready to Start" and keeping it up throughout the set until finally ending it with their third encore playing "Wake Up"- where the crowd instantly lost it, thriving and dancing to the music and lights and confetti- guaranteed Arcade Fire a spot in my best concerts ever for years to come.

Afterwards I grabbed Kris and we headed down to the village for one last night with the gang. To list everyone who was there would be listing out my summer friendships. This night was the night I was trying to force last Thursday to be, only without any need of advancement or encouragement or arrangement on my part. There was music, and dancing, and pizza (of course there was), and friends, and chatter, and it was an amazing end to a summer.

I've decided against Tiffany's. Tiffany's will always be there- waiting patient and sure for those moments you feel you don't belong, those moments where the mean reds come angry and stern on a Sunday afternoon. But today. Today, I don't need Tiffany's. I am home- as close to a home as I could find for the summer. There have been a few regrets and a few things I missed out on. I'd be lying if I said there wasn't. But at the end of the day this summer was all that I hoped for, but if I'm being honest with myself, it was so much more than I hoped for, expected, dreamed.

So thank all of you for joining in on this journey with me. I know I can be trying at times but I tried to be as faithful and honest to the blog as I could be, so here you go- my second to last post.

The final comes in the morning.

Love to all- as always, and especially to my dear New York friends.

-Mandy

"... I love New York, even though it isn't mine, the way something has to be, a tree or a street or a house, something, anyway, that belongs to me because I belong to it."

-Truman Capote